When I Grow Up

I'm definitely certain of what I want to be when I grow up. I'm sure because my top three choices haven't changed in the last 20 years. They all have a distinct, yet similar, appeal.

1- Matador
2- Race Car Driver
3- Lumberjack

A- Required attire

B- Lifestyle
  • Unnecessarily fighting for your life against something much bigger and stronger than you. Knowing that if you are going out, it will be before your time in a blaze of gory glory. The women love that.
  • Putting someone in to the wall at 200 MPH if they cross your line... or just because they "looked at you hard." Being a cowboy of the asphalt oval. The women love that.
  • Not showering, shaving or really having anyone tell you what to do. Some women love that.
C- Compensation
  • Paella and sangria from the reverent townspeople. Glory. Roses.
  • Year's supply of any product plastered on your car. Glory. A big, shiny gold cup.
  • Pancakes, sausage and gravy 365 days a year. Glory. Being your own man.