Will it Sh... ssssshit it's a BOMB!

The 'Will it Shred?' grab bag I received from Slim had several pros:

1. It looked like a bomb and made our admin curious about who was trying to "off" me
2. It had lots of duct tape
   
3. Luckily, she didn't question the attention line of: 'Will it Shred?'
4. It was addressed with a post-it note
   
5. It caused me to lie: My boss asked, "What's in that thing? It looks really weird!" Me, "Um, I'm not sure; I haven't opened it yet... Yes, you're right it does look weird"

Good work, Slim. Way to stir up a pot of paranoia among lame suburban life. Better yet, with something we wouldn't ever think out of the ordinary. Another victory!